Marriage Equality Task Force

Update - January 2010

This has been the most active issue for the UULMNJ this fall, as we supported an intensive campaign to legalize same-sex marriage here in New Jersey.  Working with Garden State Equality, we mobilized hundreds of UUs to write letters, call their representatives adn show up in Trenton in support of this effort.  We participated in lobby days, phone banks and provided personal testimony of the impact that "separate but unequal" civil unions have had on our families.

The UULMNJ has visited many UU congregations around the state to speak on this issue.  Unitarian Universalist clergy showed up in unprecedented numbers to advocate for our religious freedom and for the civil rights of our gay and lesbian citizens, and to call upon teh state of New Jersey to cease elevating one religious definition of marriage over another. Our presence was much appreciated by our allies and we have gained a reputation for showing up when it counts.

Although the final vote on January 7, 2010 in teh Senate did not go our way, this is not the end of this issue.  Lamba Legal has joined with Garden State Equality to take it back to the courts.

New Jersey UUs Bring Faithful Witness to Struggle for Marriage Equality

Marriage Equality- Our Work is Not Done

UULMNJ Director, Julia Hamilton, wrote this shortly after the Senate voteddown marriage equality on January 7.

There were hundreds of us at the state house today, gathering out in front in the cold morning air. Our faithful and stalwart UU clergy turned out once again, sporting their most colorful stoles, standing side by side with Lutheran, UCC, Episcopal, Jewish, Quaker, and other religious leaders, clearly outnumbering the opposition. As we gathered and the TV cameras rolled, we led the group in song. “This Little Light of Mine” and “This Land is Our Land” were crowd favorites. A little bit later, we spread out into the building, finally getting in out of the cold, standing in hallways and doorways and outside committee rooms (and taxing the resources of the always-patient security guards). We took advantage of every chance interaction; “Senator Rice, I’m here today to ask for your support on the marriage equality bill…” as the elevator doors closed and we struggled to put our stories into a three-sentence statement that would be compelling enough to sway a Senator on the fence. Finally, we gathered in the galleries and filled the overflow rooms to listen to the debate on the Senate floor. Nearly two hours of passionate speeches, tears welling up in Senator Lesniak’s eyes as he told the story of why he was co-sponsoring this bill. Those who spoke in opposition invoked “traditional marriage” “radical social change” and, the favorite tactic of the moment, “Let the people decide”. Despite a senator reading directly from James Madison’s Federalist Papers, trying to explain the idea of how our government insures the rights of the minority by preventing a tyranny of the majority, the civics lesson went unlearned, and the Constitution went unheeded.

The Marriage Equality bill failed in the New Jersey Senate tonight, by a vote of 14-20, with three Senators refusing to go on record either way.

It’s hard not to feel a sense of deflation and a deep sadness at this loss. How do you sit in the same place with a tearful couple from your congregation when the person sitting in front of you just yelled “Halleluiah” at the outcome? What do you say to the young volunteers and staff, some of whom were fresh from the disappointment in Maine, when they reach out for a hug and reassurance that this all will be worth it in the end? How can I go back to the UU congregations across the state and with words of hope and encouragement when, right now, I feel like all the air has been let out of the room?

It is not easy, this road to justice. But then again, “easy” is not what we were promised. In fact, we were not promised anything. We are the ones who have made promises, a covenant with one another that we will not give up, that we will be here for as long as it takes. It is a commitment that I do not take lightly, and every time we have the chance to stand on the side of love, every time we show up and make good on that covenant, we move one step closer to the beloved community that we are building together, right here and now. Today was one of those steps – not the last one, but an important one. Hearts have been opened and relationships begun. And to that, I say “halleluiah”.

And now, New Jersey, let’s take it back to the courts.

What Can You Do to Support Marriage Equality in New Jersey?

The UULMNJ, working with Garden State Equality, was a strong presence in the Capitol, testifying before the Judiciary Committee and rallying throughout the statehouse to show our support for equal marriage.  Our presence made a difference.

Getting ready for the day: Rev. Virginia Jarocha-Ernst, Rev. Charlie Ortman, Rev. Charles Stephens, UULMNJ Director Julia Hamilton, Rev. Bob Janis-Dillon

(photo: Betty Wyka)

With religious leaders from sixteen different traditions, we sent a message to the press that many churches, synagogues and houses of worship want equal recognition for all couples.

(photo: Betty Wyka)

Other actions you can take:

Discuss with your minister the possibility of delivering a sermon in support of Marriage Equality or inviting a speaker on the subject. The UULMNJ Task Force Chair, Anita Young, will be happy to share the story of her 40 year relationship and the personal meaning marriage equality has for her. Find out if there are stories in your home congregation that people would be willing to share.

Are there other houses of worship in your community that support marriage equality? Plan a joint local action. Among the supporters of Marriage Equality in NJ are Episcopalian, Lutheran and UCC churches, Reform and Reconstructionist temples, and perhaps other progressive religious communities in your area.

Write an article for your congregation's newsletter to explain why you support Marriage Equality and let others know how to take action with you.

Submit a story or letter to the editor to your local newspaper. Tell them why Marriage Equality is important to you, and how your religious convictions lead you to support this effort. Hearing from liberal religious voices is an important counterpoint to the opposition.

Have a Marriage Equality Day Fair after services one Sunday. Things to do:

• Set up a table for Marriage Equality letter writing (see attached letter).
• Have a sign-up sheet for Lobby Day (Details to follow).
• Create an email list for those in your congregation who want to stay informed on this issue.
• Get creative! Make buttons or signs, invite musicians, have the kids paint pictures instead of write letters.

If you host an event, send out a press release! It's easy to do! This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it for help, or check out the resources offered by the UUA "Standing on the Side of Love" campaign. They have a great toolkit that you can download: http://www.standingonthesideoflove.org/resources/

Make sure and let the UULMNJ know about it! We would love to post pictures, write stories and list your event in our newsletter.